Anxiety and Self Portrait Shoots
Even after all these years doing professional photography and content creation, it still feels daunting to set up my camera and do a selfie portrait shoot in public. But it helps me practice, fuels my creativity and helps put me in my clients’ shoes.
But at the same time, there’s just something vulnerable about being right there for everyone to see outside.
I do like indoor photo shoots but nature is just so beautiful, especially during special flowering season like that of the wisteria.
To not miss it, though, I went outside and set up my tripod right next to a busy pathway, accepting the fact that pretty much everyone walking by threw curious or baffled glances my way.
My camera was hidden behid tall growing grass and flowers to add that layered foreground effect, which I really do love.
What I didn’t love, however, was the attention. I am an introvert and like to focus on the camera work instead of also being the subject/model.
But when I am out solo shooting, doing self portrait photos, I am both the camera person and the model. I switch back and forth.
And while this divides my attention, it also makes me much more aware of my surroundings. (Not just because I am worried about my equipment)
I just notice the curious glances much more.
I feel more self conscious.
And attention seems to be drawn to me because of how unsual it is to see someone standing around, doing posing and you often can’t even spot the camera rightaway. It must look kinda weird. Even nowadays, when it’s quite common to see people take selfies.
But there is a huge different between taking a selfie and taking self portrait photos.
Still, taking photos is not only one of my favourite things to do, but it’s also part of my work and following creative impulses is key to keeping creativitiy flowing and improving my skills.
And amazing photos also feel empowering.
So one weekend I decided to just go for it and stand by the side of that busy path because it had a great setting and easy access for me to run back and forth to my camera instead of through fields (I am horrifically afraid of ticks). So I did that, glances be damned.
And the photos are worth it.
Now I am thinking, should I just put a cardboard sign next to my camera during a future selfie shoot?
It could say “working photographer in the wild”.
Or have a link to my website and some example photos?
Or maybe I could offer a spontaneous photo for 10 EUR for any passersby that wants to?
Not sure yet, but I kinda like the idea. But definitely don’t want to do that in a really crowded place, like a market square.
That’s been suggested to me and made me extra anxious and self conscious.
But all that aside, can we just talk about how amazing these wisteria flowers are?
There are a few cool wisteria spots around Bamberg, Germany. And the one near the Concert Hall is my favourite. It’s a wall full of three different colours hanging from fences.
If you are ever in Bamberg, you can even hire me as your local photographer! Just get in touch via my contact form in the menu bar.
Or book me for a virtual photography session if you cannot wait.
